How to Stop Falling For the Wrong People
Sexes Share the Same Relationship Dealbreakers
Contemporary Male Mating Strategies
Pop Culture Feeds Rape Culture
Hookup Culture Rightly Laid at Feminism’s Feet
Hookup Culture Not to Blame For Our Single Status
A Drunk Man Never Lies
Chicks Dig Altruists
Ultimately, people like the two of you are indestructible. I really don't care what either of you think, but I do care that this site remains free for a variety of people with different views to post a message without having to fear that they will be unfairly accused. The truth is that it takes some courage for people to share the intimate details of their lives. They are exploring something that is most precious to them - their relationships. I have no problem with a healthy debate and I do not expect for all people to agree with me. For example, Tevemer and I have shared our differences in a respectful way. Yet the two of you consistently assume the worst.
All I ask is that you remember that real people write to this site. We are not all perfect in our understanding or practice, but lets at least treat each other with simple respect.
by Stephen on 2004 Dec 21 - 18:14 | reply to this comment
It will not add up
Come on Pat, for goodness sakes. People who are abusive are going to be abuse whether we post here or not. If they need and "excuse" to abuse people they will find a reason somewhere else. Usually they blame the abused anyway, not some internet site. This is a public forum and people who read here should use common sense. We can not give common sense to people no matter what we say or do not say.
There is nothing at all wrong with believing taking a woman in hand is the natural order of the world. If you believe that you can write about it. It does not make it true or false. It is an opinion, the opinion of the people who express it. I personally do not believe that, but I think Noone has a right to believe it and write about it. You have a right to believe other wise, and write about it. Stephen also has a right to believe and write that once his wife gave him consent, he could choose to do what ever he wanted. He can even tell Sarah that her partner could do the same thing. If it is not right for Sarah, then she can write otherwise right? That is a far cry from advocating that no one really has any choices at all. I do not think that the men, or women, on this site advocate abuse, or taking women in hand without their consent. If people want to use this site as an excuse to abuse people, then there is not much we can really do about that. There is a difference between what we do, and abuse. That is a plain fact. There is a difference between consensual non-consent and plain old non consent, but nothing I write here will convince someone who would like to believe other wise. This site only advocates consensual relationships. If people choose to believe other wise they will.
I do not think there is anything wrong with telling a person that you are not willing to have a relationship without being head of the household, or without spanking. I think it is reasonable, and if my way or the highway does not work for you, you should hit the highway. We all have a right to decide what we want and do not want in our relationships, we can start or end a relationship for what ever reason we want. If you know for sure you can not spend the rest of your life with someone because they lack something you need or want it is reasonable to end that relationship. It is being honest with someone, not oppressing them
Sexes Share the Same Relationship Dealbreakers
Contemporary Male Mating Strategies
Pop Culture Feeds Rape Culture
Hookup Culture Rightly Laid at Feminism’s Feet
Hookup Culture Not to Blame For Our Single Status
A Drunk Man Never Lies
Chicks Dig Altruists
Ultimately, people like the two of you are indestructible. I really don't care what either of you think, but I do care that this site remains free for a variety of people with different views to post a message without having to fear that they will be unfairly accused. The truth is that it takes some courage for people to share the intimate details of their lives. They are exploring something that is most precious to them - their relationships. I have no problem with a healthy debate and I do not expect for all people to agree with me. For example, Tevemer and I have shared our differences in a respectful way. Yet the two of you consistently assume the worst.
All I ask is that you remember that real people write to this site. We are not all perfect in our understanding or practice, but lets at least treat each other with simple respect.
by Stephen on 2004 Dec 21 - 18:14 | reply to this comment
It will not add up
Come on Pat, for goodness sakes. People who are abusive are going to be abuse whether we post here or not. If they need and "excuse" to abuse people they will find a reason somewhere else. Usually they blame the abused anyway, not some internet site. This is a public forum and people who read here should use common sense. We can not give common sense to people no matter what we say or do not say.
There is nothing at all wrong with believing taking a woman in hand is the natural order of the world. If you believe that you can write about it. It does not make it true or false. It is an opinion, the opinion of the people who express it. I personally do not believe that, but I think Noone has a right to believe it and write about it. You have a right to believe other wise, and write about it. Stephen also has a right to believe and write that once his wife gave him consent, he could choose to do what ever he wanted. He can even tell Sarah that her partner could do the same thing. If it is not right for Sarah, then she can write otherwise right? That is a far cry from advocating that no one really has any choices at all. I do not think that the men, or women, on this site advocate abuse, or taking women in hand without their consent. If people want to use this site as an excuse to abuse people, then there is not much we can really do about that. There is a difference between what we do, and abuse. That is a plain fact. There is a difference between consensual non-consent and plain old non consent, but nothing I write here will convince someone who would like to believe other wise. This site only advocates consensual relationships. If people choose to believe other wise they will.
I do not think there is anything wrong with telling a person that you are not willing to have a relationship without being head of the household, or without spanking. I think it is reasonable, and if my way or the highway does not work for you, you should hit the highway. We all have a right to decide what we want and do not want in our relationships, we can start or end a relationship for what ever reason we want. If you know for sure you can not spend the rest of your life with someone because they lack something you need or want it is reasonable to end that relationship. It is being honest with someone, not oppressing them